When I graduated from Rutgers last May of 2014, I did not have a blog at the time. I had many thoughts of my journey through Pre-school, K-12 grades & college coming to an end after 18 years. I wrote some of my thoughts down, but most of it I never wrote down. For this blog, I wanted to truly think hard about life & the issues we face in life. This post took me longer to type up than other entries as I wanted to think deep. So these are my thoughts one year late of what I have learned in my life thus far.
We face many issues as individuals. There are even more issues that we face as a species on our Earth: pollution, climate change, deforestation, population boom, carbon dioxide rising, energy crisis, growing illiteracy, poverty & widespread disease, lack of access to clean water, instability in different regions of the world due to groups like ISIS, Taliban, etc. Changing our mindset can help us overcome & counter many of these issues.
So here’s my 5 life lessons I have learned in my life thus far that apply to any kind of issues in no particular order.
1. Any obstacles can be overcome if you put your mind to it & believe in self
On an individual level, don’t let obstacles get in the way of who you are. For those that may not know, I have muscular dystrophy, but to me that means very little. It has never been an issue and never will be because I don’t make it an issue.
It has pushed me all these years more than anything else to live day by day and push my limits. I think about it, but I don’t feel there is much else I can talk about for that specifically. It is the competition, the drive, the desire to never give up hope & not accept defeat that fuels me. I also know that at the end of the day, it comes down to ideas, contemplation of things, and how you overcome obstacles that defines you.
That is where we enter bigger scale. Ideas are half the game of what we need to change the future for the better and overcome the obstacles & issues that we face as a species. The second half is putting the ideas into action. I, myself, tend to focus more on the former (ideas) because without ideas of how to overcome obstacles, there is no overcoming. I leave the action of putting the ideas into effect to others, but in many ways, ideas are action.
Note: The individual level of this lesson is not targeted only at people that deal with disabilities or those that work with people who have disabilities, but it is for any human being – it’s simply an example from my perspective. Remember, we ALL deal with obstacles (physical, mental, truly anything) in our lives so what I said above is about the mindset. For me, I believe I have a platform to share my thoughts on disabilities because there are certain topics I can blog about that I have first hand experience with that most people do not. For somebody else, it might be another issue.
From my view, I have a disability, but I am not disabled – ‘disabled’ implies I am not able to do anything. Most people don’t realize the difference, but there is a subtle difference in the terminology and the connotation that goes with it. ‘Having’ a disability is different than ‘being’ disabled. I am never disabled unless if I let my disability define me and get in the way of who I am. In the same manner, do not let your obstacles define you, but define your obstacles YOURSELF. YOU are the only person that can.
2. Individuals and people that you surround yourself with DO matter
I wrote above that only you can define your obstacle, but other people do matter and will help you along the way. I know the old corny cliche goes something like “We are all in this together,” but it is true.
Speaking from my perspective, I was lost with what I wanted to do after high school. I was lucky enough to have family and friends, teachers, paraprofessionals, physical therapists, doctors that pushed me to go to college and not miss out on the opportunities that life has in store. I realize many others do not have the same support, but it does make a difference. People do make a difference in your life, and you can make a difference in their lives.
I believe every person, regardless of any issues they face, can do these things if simply they have the opportunity and the will to push themselves. Everything starts with that opportunity and the people willing to help push us to pursue our dreams. Then, of course, it comes back to the individual – the fulcrum swings back and forth on the individual. At some point, you have to be the one to care. Other people will not live your life for you for their benefit like a puppet-master — it does not work that way!
3. Focus on Education & learning
Education is the compass that guides me. I’m always thirsty for more, but I also realize knowledge is not everything. You can have all the knowledge in the world and be a life-long student of history, but there are some things that no book can teach you. This includes things like character and lessons of life itself.
Do note that no book can teach you how to be yourself – that is something you can only learn and teach yourself. No book can teach you step-by-step how to change the world or how to stop the human impacts to climate change. The point of education is not to do those things for you.
What education CAN do though is teach you how to think critically, be a well-rounded individual, and teach you how to learn. Nobody is born with the ability to read, write, talk, add/subtract, learn complex concepts on their own, etc. These are things that you are taught usually by your parents or teachers, and you build upon as you go along.
Education is the essence of life! I blogged more about it here: Why Education & Learning matters.
4. Do not be afraid to be honest
Speak your mind. There are times when you cannot be completely honest to others – telling your boss he/she is wrong, calling out an elder person, starting a fight when it could be avoided by simply walking away, telling somebody what they should do when it is not your place to say anything, etc. You can be honest with yourself though.
You have to be willing to admit “I don’t know” to issues in life. There are many things that even you won’t have answers to. It takes guts to admit to things that you don’t know. This often points to the mindsets used in science – you won’t know everything. Nobody knows everything. The more you learn, the more you realize how little you know. Anyone that says otherwise, steer clear of them because they know nothing to begin with (just me taking shots at things like astrology that falsely claim to know/predict everything haha).
Here’s another instance — many people do not want to admit something is difficult. My belief is be willing to admit something is hard if you believe it is hard then go about brainstorming how you can solve it. i.e. Becoming a millionaire from nothing is hard, becoming a rocket scientist is hard, learning a new language is hard (usually languages that are very different from each other — English to Japanese or Japanese to English or Hindi to either), etc. Putting any big ideas into action is hard.
You are probably asking yourself “Why is he giving examples of things that are hard? Plenty of people have accomplished those things.”
Keep in mind that if I say something is hard, it doesn’t mean I am saying it is impossible or not to do it – that’s an entirely separate argument and incorrect assumption people make by grouping them together. I am simply looking at what resources it will take to get from point A to point B. What sort of obstacles will be faced along the way is something you must consider. Some things require much more time and patience than other things. So I divide this argument into 2 compartments – First half is whether something is easy/simple or hard/complex, the second half is whether something is possible or impossible. Something hard/complex could be either possible or impossible, and something easy/simple could be possible or impossible. It’s separate arguments, but something you must consider.
Don’t be afraid to admit something is hard, but then don’t stop there. Ask yourself based on what you know, can you make it possible? You have to be realistic and work at issues & use all the tools you have at your disposal. I have a tendency to overthink issues, but it is better than under-thinking issues and being unprepared when trouble strikes.
On a global basis, yes “solving” climate change is tough because there are so many factors involved. Saying “I don’t know” or “It’s hard” and stopping there obviously will not work. You can begin with that, but then you have to figure out what is possible that you CAN do to start with.
Technology alone will not solve every issue no matter how many engineers or scientists you throw together and how many billions of dollars you throw at it — I know there are people that say technology will solve everything, but as a technologist myself, I will tell you they are wrong. Technology is only part of the solution, the other parts are social/mental/economic/others. You must figure out where can you start cutting back on energy wasting, and where the biggest chunk of energy is being used. High energy usage is fine – what matters is where does the energy come from and is it efficient along the route?
5. Seek peace & tranquility both within & without
This one is very important and something I did not always know. Without inner peace, you have nothing, and with nothing, you have nothing to live for.
I will start with a question: what is peace? Different people define peace differently and seek it through different means. Some attain peace through religion, some through money, some through music, some through focusing on certain tasks (like jogging, exercising, reading, etc), some through drugs, some through meditation, some through partying.
Sure, all of those things can help attain peace, but I look elsewhere for peace. I attain peace through imagination, through thinking about the world & the issues of our time. Reading of the issues of the past. Debating/discussing/arguing about these issues and differences in philosophies. The people. These are the things I think about.
Peace is quiet. Nature is peace. Dwelling within yourself for that one thing that will calm you down. That is what I seek.
6. You are the master of your destiny
Don’t let your circumstances define you but instead define your circumstances on your own terms. People should live their lives on their own terms no matter what limitations or boundaries they may be dealing with. Be different, be yourself.
Don’t try to be like others just to fit in. That’s a bullshit way to live. I have come across WAY TOO MANY people that would not swerve off the road of life and would be stuck emulating others just to fit in. Be willing to swerve off the road into “weird land.”
Dream big. Think big. Live big. What keeps me going is hope for a better tomorrow.
This reminds me of the movie ‘Dead Poets Society’, which I quote often. One of the most inspiring things teacher Mr Keating, played by Robin Williams, teaches that I cling to is the notion that “words and ideas can change the world.” Every person has something within them to contribute to humanity. Nobody can be the next Einstein or Gandhi or Aristotle or Shakespeare or another great figure, but every person is capable of thought and creativity in their own right. To be themselves. “What will your verse be?” -Mr Keating.
o captain, my captain
Carpe diem – seize the day. Make your lives extraordinary.
This is based on one of my first blog posts I made a while back: O Captain, My captain.
I end on one note: the human spirit is strong and can be pushed to the absolute limits if we want to. Only if we want to.
May the force be with you.
Hope. Inspire. Dream. Live.
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More people need to read this than probably will. I’m proud of all you’ve accomplished and the person you have become.
Thank-you!
inspiring!! Thanks
Thanks!